Jesus and Doubt

I have often heard that doubt and faith cannot coexist in the same person.  Or if you call yourself a follower of Christ but still have doubts, then you’re really not a legitimate follower. I don’t agree with this.  While I know it takes faith to trust in Christ, I also know that we can grow in our faith and this growth is a journey that will take a lifetime. And how did Jesus handle doubt? Did He just reject people that didn’t have 100% faith? Absolutely not, just look at this record from Mark 9:14-27:

And when He came to the disciples, He saw a great multitude around them, and scribes disputing with them.  Immediately, when they saw Him, all the people were greatly amazed, and running to Him, greeted Him.  And He asked the scribes, "What are you discussing with them?" 

Then one of the crowd answered and said, "Teacher, I brought You my son, who has a mute spirit.  And wherever it seizes him, it throws him down; he foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth, and becomes rigid. So I spoke to Your disciples, that they should cast it out, but they could not." 

He answered him and said, "O faithless generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I bear with you? Bring him to Me."  Then they brought him to Him. And when he saw Him, immediately the spirit convulsed him, and he fell on the ground and wallowed, foaming at the mouth. 

So He asked his father, "How long has this been happening to him?"

And he said, "From childhood.  And often he has thrown him both into the fire and into the water to destroy him. But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us." 

Jesus said to him, "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes."  Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!" 

When Jesus saw that the people came running together, He rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, "Deaf and dumb spirit, I command you, come out of him and enter him no more!"  Then the spirit cried out, convulsed him greatly, and came out of him. And he became as one dead, so that many said, "He is dead." But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose.

Doubt and Jesus

This is a very interesting scene. Here’s a father getting frustrated with the disciples who are equally frustrated with the father. The source of their frustration is the lack of deliverance for the stricken child.  Jesus intervenes and gets the scoop of what’s happening.  He asks questions to find out the details and to discern the man’s story while assessing the condition of his heart. It then gets even tenser when the man says to Jesus, of all people, “If you can do anything…”

Jesus counters in the most interesting way, rather than becoming indignant at the man for doubting Him, He instead responds by saying, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Notice that Jesus doesn't lecture the father that he should believe with every ounce of fiber in his body. I think Jesus is instead saying to him that even an inkling of faith is a start.

Mustard anyone?

It reminds me of how Jesus speaks of faith like a mustard seed (Matthew 17:20). A mustard seed is tiny but it eventually explodes into a bush that even birds find shelter and rest in (see also Matthew 13:31-32). Faith, then, starts small and if nurtured properly will mature into something quite large.

We see this in operation in the father in our story. He responds to Jesus by saying, “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!” A very honest response from a very desperate father, one part of him trusts in Jesus, but another part in the depths of his soul still doubts. Have you ever been there? I sure have, and in some areas of my life I’m still there. Jesus recognizes this as the frailty of humanity and rather than rebuking the father for his honesty or ongoing lack of faith, He heals the father’s son instead. A stern religious person or cult leader would demand 100% faith, which, of course, would be impossible, which means the father would have to either lie to the Lord or walk away completely defeated. Thankfully, Jesus is real and understands our great dilemma: we have faith but also, at the same time, we fight doubt and even hopelessness.

Jesus is our loving God in action, meeting us where we’re at, as if lifting our sagging and trembling chin to look us loving in the eyes while whispering, “I understand, it’s okay, I’m with you now. Let’s walk together.” He takes time to understand the narrative of our lives and doesn't rush in with rash judgments about our background, lifestyle, or lack of faith.

Bridge of Faith

As we've seen in this record, faith is a starting point, not an ending point. Faith is something that starts small and over time, sometimes a lot of time, grows. Faith is the bridge from being destined to hell to suddenly being destined for Heaven. And it starts simply:

Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved.

─Acts 16:31

So our faith is a bridge to salvation, but like any bridge, once you cross it, you have a vast terrain to travel on the other side of it. This vast terrain is moving deeper into the Kingdom of Christ. With each step deeper into this new land, our faith will be challenged, just like father in this record; but also with each step Jesus will be with us helping to mature and refine our faith as long as we don’t give up. And this journey will take the rest of our lives, so some of our doubts may linger on for years; and, frankly, that’s okay, Jesus is not in a hurry, so why are we?

So let’s stop beating ourselves and others up for having doubts. Instead, let’s acknowledge that doubts are real and that Jesus can step into the center of these doubts if we just invite Him into the narrative of our lives. 

Totally Surrendered or Resignation

                                   “I surrender all…”

The above line is from a popular contemporary Christian worship song.  Every time I hear that line or even sing it, I think to myself, “Really?”

Have I surrendered it all? Has the writer of that song surrendered it all?  If so, then why aren’t there lyrics teaching us how to surrender it all? 

I’ve blogged about surrender before, but I’m still not satisfied with my understanding, or lack thereof, about being totally surrendered to God. I’m also unsure what the difference is between being totally surrendered to God and just plain old resignation, giving up or caving in. 

How does total surrender avoid becoming fatalism? For instance, is the phrase “It must be God’s will” really code for saying, “I can’t do anything about it, so I give up.” Or perhaps we think that “it’s predestined this happens, so I’m helpless. Now where’s that remote.” 

How do we tell the difference between circumstances that truly are unchangeable, where God’s grace is sufficient for us; versus understanding that God is calling us to do something in the circumstances to change them? Am I really destined to have health conditions all my life, or is God expecting me to do something to mitigate the health conditions? Are the hungry destined to be hungry so I might as well drive by the guy with the sign asking for food?  Or is this cowardice and avoidance of the human condition when I could easily hand him a granola bar and an apple? 

In other words, when does total surrender also involve taking action, taking personal responsibility? 

I return to the health condition example. While medical interventions are necessary and helpful at times; I can take daily responsibility over my own behavior that will produce greater and more positive results immediately. I can easily choose to eat healthy and get regular exercise. Or, I could shrug my shoulders, mope that I have health conditions, and slowly morph into Jabba the Hut. 

Surrender then seems to be a combination of accepting the health conditions while equally accepting that God expects and enables me to not let the conditions control my life and overrun my soul. So to in other areas of life, such as sharing our faith, helping to feed the hungry, or helping friends or family in need. But sadly I sense that many people view total surrender as equating to total inaction.  I’m inert, therefore I’m totally surrendered.  Somehow, I think not. Jesus was totally surrendered, and He was also a man of action—lot’s of action. 

He [Jesus] was moved with compassion for them, and he healed their sick. When it was evening, His disciples came to Him, saying, “This is a deserted place, and the hour is already late. Send the multitudes away, that they may go into the villages and buy themselves food.”

But Jesus said to them, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.” (Matthew 14:14-16)

This record astounds me, especially since it goes on to say that the disciples were beside themselves about how they were going to feed ten to fifteen thousand people (the text says 5,000 men, the men likely had wives, children and/or others with them; so the number could easily have been up to 15,000!). Jesus didn’t panic, though. A little boy brought Him what was basically a sack lunch with five loaves and two fish. Jesus took these ingredients, thanked His Father for the sustenance and then commenced feeding an impossible amount of people in an impossible way.

Jesus, totally surrendered to His Father, was obviously a man of action. Just in this record alone, we see Him take action by healing the sick and feeding thousands of people. And inserted between these two events was His command to His disciples: “You give them something to eat.”

So as I struggle to figure out what being totally surrendered means, I can be assured that it isn’t fatalism or nihilistic disregard for life.  But it does have high doses of prayer, compassion, and action.